A Pioneer Divorce

Back in my day, when a couple decided that marriage no longer fit, it wasn't always prudent to go before a judge and ask for a document stating that the two were no longer legally bound in matrimonial bliss.

Sometimes the judge was in the next county and the couple couldn't afford the trip. Sometimes the lady just ran off. Sometimes, war or the search for riches took the man to lands faraway.

In cases like these, a notice such as the one below would be posted in the local paper:

My wife, Nellie, has left my bed and board. I will not be responsible or will not pay any bills or accounts she may make. Alfred Pembroke.

Of course, notices such as these were rare and usually the subject of gossip for years to come. To this day, poor Alfred Pembroke cannot walk into the gospel mill without hushed whispers following him around. Then again, most people speak like that in church...

More'n just a gullywasher!

We had quite a storm yesterday at candle lighting. The wind howled like Pauline Medbery when she had the twins last summer. Glory be! I never heard a woman pitch a conniption fit like that and with good reason. Those boys were as big as bear cubs.

The rain poured down on our little clapboard house so fierce, I swore we'd be washed away come morning. Pa went out to inspect the damage and came across Postmaster Reeves walking down the lane to town. His barn was stuck by a bolt of lightning and lost 11 head of horses. I reckon the Lord was none to pleased with his recent dealings. The scuttlebutt is that he's been sending letters to a certain lady whose husband lately went back East to find work. I've heard tell those missives are hot as a whorehouse on nickel night.

Pa being Simon pure, plans to help the Postmaster get his barn in apple pie order. More than he deserves, I reckon, but it might get our mail to the right places.

Who is Aunt Mabel?

Someone recently asked that I fill in a questionnaire regarding myself. Below are a few of the answers which should enlighten the few of you who read my random ramblings.

Job: Works in a shirtwaist factory. Used to be a librarian, but was laid off when the place caught fire back in ought-five and was suspected of being the cause when Harry Griffith told his wife while closing up the butcher shop, he saw me in my skivvies running from the back of the building going east on Main and Clifford Dreblow in a similar condition, but heading west.

Birthday: January 1, 1876 Fort Dodge Iowa - at least that's what I've been told all my life.

Life Motto: Love and be loved.

Likes: The wind through the prairie grasses, that cozy holiday feeling you get in mid-fall (a mixture of anticipation and memories), the scent of Aunt Tomasa's freshly baked peach pie, the shade of an oak tree on a hot summer day in the baking golden hills of California

Holiday Happiness Begins

My sister, Alice, is having quite the fandango this holiday season. I hear tell there will be more than one turkey served up for dinner, so many folks will be in attendance. Relations are coming from all parts of the county to eat some vittles and chew the fat.

I hear tell a distant relation will be joining us from the Old States. That's quite a journey just to give thanks for one day and lose to Cousin Lura at Whist.

Alice and her husband, George, are quite generous with their spirits. Pa might clean my plow if I get too soaked and start spilling the family secrets, most of which are of my own doing.

Keep it Clean

Dearest Mabel,

I'm beside myself. My youngest spilled grape juice all over my best white table cloth. What's the best way to get the stains out?

Tabled in Tulsa


Hello Dearie!

I don't know how you figure that I'm a domestic, but I don't know beans about cleaning. Don't get your bonnet in a bunch. You might want to refer to Mrs. Penrod's Best Cleaning Methods published in 1908 or the Ladies Home Journal. Otherwise, I suggest you put that child on water and buy a new linens.

Prairie Tales

While living in the Dakota Territory, Father filed a claim near part of the Breene farm. We had to drive the cattle from the train station in Potter County to the claim. Day and night we herded those critters to keep them from straying. I'd rather spend a whole week in the shirtwaist factory than have to drive cattle ever again.

We stopped in Aberdeen and our horses got sick. A veterinary came and shot all but one. Father, not one to give up so quick, bought an ox team and proceeded to the claim.

Water was scarce on our land, so we drove our cattle to the McGinity place. About five miles out, their hooves were sore from so much travel, so we hauled 20 barrels of water a day. Father attempted to dig a well. At 90 feet, the well started to cave in. Alice and William pulled him out, but the pick and shovel are still there to this day.

Advice for Family Functions

Dear Aunt Mabel,
My cousin is always late to family functions. How do I go about telling her that it's rude to make us wait to carve the Thanksgiving turkey? Cussin' Cousin

Hello Dearie,
Honesty is the best policy. Gently take your cousin aside and tell her that if she wants to be a part of the family frolics, she needs to be more respectful to her relations. No one wants cold belly timber if they can help it.